My library is full of the stories of famous people and celebrities who have survived abuse and gone on to thrive and find joy.
To celebrate my 200th post, I’m asking for feedback from my readers about which inspiring survivor stories you would most like to read.
Some of these people ~ Maya Angelou and Augusten Burroughs ~ have written prolifically. Many stories have been published in books or articles. Other stories have been mere whispers. And, a few of the people listed break down the walls of silence with their actions rather than their words.
The names in purple are links to stories I’ve already told. Please feel free to ask for more in-depth information. If you don’t have the patience to wait for me to write a post, I’ve included the titles of the books on my shelves.
My Own Top Five
- Eve Ensler, writer (The Vagina Monologues) and activist (V-Day): child abuse
- Alice Miller, psychologist/writer (The Drama of the Gifted Child, Breaking Down the Wall of Silence, The Body Never Lies, The Truth Will Set You Free, etc.): child abuse
- Tyler Perry, comedy/writer (Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings), producer (Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Precious/PUSH, Madea’s Family Reunion, I Can Do Bad All By Myself): child abuse
- Gloria Steinem, feminist/writer/Ms. Magazine (Revolution from Within): child abuse
- Tina Turner, singer/actress (I, Tina): child abuse and neglect; domestic violence (Ike Turner)
Child Abuse/Neglect Survivors Who Are Making a Difference
- Christina Aguilera, pop singer/songwriter: Womens Center & Shelter of Greater Pittsburg; Lifetime’s End Violence Against Women Campaign
- Mary J. Blige, singer/songwriter/actress: FFAWN, The Mary J. Blige Center for Women, Yonkers, NY
- Doris Buffett, philanthropist: Sunshine Lady Foundation
- William J. Clinton, former president: Violence Against Women Act (My Life)
- Pat Conroy, best selling author/screenwriter (father was an officer in the U.S. Marines, Prince of Tides. The Great Santini)
- Lee Daniels, movie director (father was a police officer, Precious/PUSH)
- Sally Field, actress: multiple DV charities
- Jane Fonda, actress: V-Day (My Life, So Far)
- Erin Gray, model/actress: Haven House, National Coalition Against DV, co-produced PSAs, speaker
- Billy Hudson, entrepreneur/Professor of Medicine and Biochemistry: Aspirnaut Initiative
- Dr. Patrick J. Kelly, physician
- Susan Murphy-Milano, activist/writer (father was a police officer, Defending Our Lives)
- WA Rep. Toby Nixon (R), politician
- Rosie O’Donnell, comedy/actress (Celebrity Detox)
- U.S. Rep. Dave Reichert (R), sheriff/congressman: solved Green River murders
- Victor Rivas Rivers, NFL lineman/actor/activist: Verizon Community Champion, NNEDV spokesperson
- Lorenzo Romar, Univ. of WA basketball coach: Lorenzo Romar Foundation, Men’s Network Against DV, PSA
- Charlize Theron, actress (her mother shot her abusive, alcoholic father in self-defense): V-Day
- Joe Torre, major league baseball player and coach (father was New York City police officer, Chasing the Dream, Joe Torre’s Ground Rules for Winners): Safe at Home Foundation, Coach Boys into Men campaign, Founding Fathers
- Clara Ward, community activist featured on Extreme Makeover: Clara’s Way
- Sela Ward, actress; Hope Village for Children
- Wynona Ward, attorney: Have Justice Will Travel
Child Molestation/Incest Survivors Who Are Making a Difference
- Maya Angelou, global Renaissance woman (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Letter to My Daughter, “Phenomenal Woman”)
- Martha Beck, psychologist, life coach, O Magazine columnist (Leaving the Saints ~ her father was a leader in the Mormon church)
- Louise L. Hay, founder/publisher of Hay House (You Can Heal Your Life)
- Anglea Shelton, film producer, writer, activist (Searching for Angela Shelton, Angela Shelton Foundation, National Family Court Watch Project board of directors, The Survivor Manual blog)
- Oprah Winfrey, talk show host/producer/actress (The Color Purple)
- Virginia Woolf, writer (A Room of One’s Own)
Child Abuse/Neglect/Incest Survivors (Physical and/or Emotional)
- Walter Anderson, Parade Magazine Chairman & CEO (Meant to Be)
- Arcadian Broad, dance contestant on America’s Got Talent (bullying)
- Sen. Scott Brown (R-MA), U.S. Senator (sexual molestation/child abuse/Against All Odds)
- Christopher Buckley, writer (son of William F. Buckley, Losing Mum and Pup)
- Augusten Burroughs, writer (his father was an Ivy League professor, Running with Scissors, A Wolf at the Table, Possible Side Effects, etc.)
- Chevy Chase, comedy/writer/actor (society family, I’m Chevy Chase. . .and You’re Not)
- Christopher Dickey, Newsweek journalist (father was poet and Deliverance writer James Dickey, Summer of Deliverance)
- Christopher Paul Gardner, investment banker/venture capitalist (The Pursuit of Happyness)
- Monique (Mo’Nique) Imes, actress
- Jewel, singer
- Stacey Lannert, prisoner (incest: murdered her father)
- Michael Lisagor, executive and consultant (child abuse, Romancing the Buddha)
- Steve Martin, comedy/writer (Born Standing Up)
- Tom Petty, musician (allegations he is a child abuse perpetrator)
- Mackenzie Phillips, actress (father: John Phillips)
- Christopher Quincy Maryatt, prosecuting attorney (descendant of John Quincy Adams)
- Frank McCourt, best-selling author (Angela’s Ashes, Tis)
- Alyse Myers, former New York Times marketing executive/writer (Who Do You Think You Are?)
- Sandra Oh, actress
- SARK, writer (A Creative Companion, Prosperity Pie, Eat Mangoes Naked, Succulent Wild Woman)
- Tavis Smiley, talk show host (What I Know for Sure)
- Norm Stamper, former Seattle, WA chief of police
- Hillary Swank, actress
- Amy Tan, best-selling author (The Joy Luck Club)
- Meg Tilly, actress/writer (Gemma, Singing Songs)
- Antonio Villaraigosa, mayor of Los Angeles, CA
- Jeannette Walls, best-selling author (Glass Castle)
- Mary Wilshire, illustrator of female superheroes
Dating Abuse Survivors
- Christina Applegate, actress
- Robin Rihanna Fenty, singer
- Elyse Umemoto, beauty queen, platform: “Embracing Diversity, Empowering Women.”
Sexual Assault/Sexual Harassment Survivors
- Barbara Hall, producer of Joan of Arcadia
- Jamie Leigh Jones, administrative assistant for KBR: Jamie Leigh Foundation (sexual assault)
- Cathy L. Lanier, Washington, DC chief of police
IPV/Domestic Violence/Stalking/Litigation Abuse Survivors Who Are Making a Difference
- Barbara Bentley, retired quality assurance manager, political activist, writer (A Dance with the Devil): lobbied to change CA divorce laws
- Halle Berry, actress: The Jenesse Center in Los Angeles, CA
- Vernetta Cockerham, activist (featured in August, 2009 issue of O Magazine)
- Charlotte Fedders, ex-wife of SEC official John Fedders (Shattered Dreams)
- Lorena Bobbitt Gallo, Realtor/cosmetologist: Lorena’s Red Wagon
- Robin Givens, actress/activist (ex-wife of Mike Tyson)
- Mo Therese Hannah, Ph.D., scholar/activist (Battered Mothers Custody Conference)
- Monica Hunter, WA State Trooper
- Carolyn Jessop, writer (ex-husband was leader of the FLDS church, Escape)
- Rita Henley Jensen, editor in chief of Women’s eNews: Dangerous Trends, Innovative Responses
- Kathy Lambert, King County, WA Council Person
- Rita Anita Linger, former executive director of the North Carolina Coalition
- L.Y. Marlow, corporate executive, writer: Color Me Butterfly; advocate: Saving Promise campaign
- Christy Salters Martin, boxing champion; advocate
- Fern Michaels, best-selling romance novelist: Revenge of the Sisterhood series
- Prof. Linda G. Mills, JD/Ph.D./academic: controversial viewpoint (Insult to Injury)
- Mildred Muhammad, writer/activist: After the Trauma (ex-wife of DC Sniper John Allen Muhammad, Scared Silent)
- Sherri Peak, activist: hi-tech stalking
- Denise Richards, actress (ex-wife of Charlie Sheen/spoke up for Brooke Mueller, his next ex-wife)
- Kalyn Risker, human resources manager/activist: SAFE, Detroit
- Nancy P. Tyler, attorney: CT Coalition
- Iyanla Vanzant, attorney/writer/spiritual leader (Faith in the Valley, In the Meantime, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, etc.)
- Elissa Wall, FLDS child bride (testified against Warren Jeffs, Stolen Innocence)
- Dr. Michelle Ward, criminal psychologist (stalking, host of Stalked: Someone’s Watching)
- Prof. Elaine Weiss, University of Utah School of Medicine (Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free)
- Karen M. Welch (stalking/changed NJ’s stalking laws/”Dangerous Games”)
- Marie C. Wilson, The White House Project and She Source (Closing the Leadership Gap: Why Women Can and Must Help Run the World)
IPV/Domestic Violence/Litigation Abuse Survivors (Emotional, Financial, Physical, Spousal Rape, Adultery)
- Sandra Boss, corporate consultant (her ex-husband “Clark Rockefeller” kidnapped her daughter)
- Christine Brinkley, model/actress (divorcing a narcissist)
- Juanita Bynum, televangelist (two marriages)
- Connie Culp, received facial transplant
- Carlene Cross, writer/instructor (ex-wife of mega-church preacher, Fleeing Fundamentalism)
- Elizabeth Edwards, attorney (wife of Sen. John Edwards, D-NC)
- Mary Margaret Farren, attorney at Skadden, Arps (estranged wife of J. Michael Farren, deputy White House counsel in G.W. Bush Administration)
- Elizabeth Gilbert, writer (Eat, Pray, Love; Committed)
- Katherine Graham, publisher of the Washington Post (Personal History)
- Lula Hardaway, mother of Stevie Wonder (Blind Faith)
- Whitney Houston, singer/actress/model (ex-wife of Bobby Brown)
- Dr. Kate Jewell, physician
- Beverly Johnson, supermodel, actress, singer, beauty mogul (IPV)
- Virginia Dell Cassidy Blythe Clinton Dwire Kelley, First Mother (Leading with My Heart)
- Dr. Jeanne I. King, psychologist (ex-wife of an OB/Gyn MD, All But My Soul)
- Dr. Christine McFadden, veterinarian (ex-husband murdered all four of their children)
- Brooke Mueller (ex-wife of Charlie Sheen)
- Vicki Myron, librarian (Dewey)
- Katha Pollitt, feminist poet/The Nation columnist (Learning to Drive)
- Emily Post, etiquette maven
- JoAnn Viola Salazar, attorney/librarian
- Jenny Sullivan Sanford, heiress/investment banker/former First Lady of SC (ex-wife of Gov. Mark Sanford ~ “hiking the Appalachian Trail”, Staying True)
- Barbara Sheehan, prisoner (murdered her husband: New York City police officer)
- Dr. Robin L. Smith, psychologist/Oprah contributor (Lies at the Altar)
- Leslie Morgan Steiner, Harvard graduate/writer (Crazy Love)
- Donna Summer, singer/songwriter
- Elizabeth Taylor, Academy Award winning actress/perfume mogul/HIV, AIDS activist
- Michele Weldon, journalist/writer (ex-wife of attorney, I Closed My Eyes, Writing to Save Your Life)
- Hanah Nyala West, tracker/writer/Ph.D. candidate (Point Last Seen)
- Mary C. White, WA teacher
- Debra Winans, gospel singer (ex-wife of BeBe Winans)
Multiple or Unspecified Experiences of Abuse
- Karen Armstrong, writer/former nun/comparative religion (The Spiral Staircase)
- Cheryl Burke, dancer (sexual molestation and dating violence in two relationships, Dancing Lessons)
- Ellen Burstyn, actress (Lessons in Becoming Myself)
- Georgia Durante, stunt driver (incest/ex-wife of a mobster/domestic violence/stalking, The Company She Keeps)
- Ann Goetting, professor (Getting Out)
- Catherine Lanigan, writer (Romancing the Stone, Jewel of the Nile, Evolving Woman)
- Quincy Lucas, teacher (her sister was murdered by her ex-boyfriend/founder of Witney’s L.I.G.H.T.S./introduced Joe Biden at the Democratic Convention in 2008)
- S. Epatha Merkerson, actress
- Rep. Gwen Moore (D-WI4), sponsor of H.R. 4116
- Joanne (J.K.) Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series
- Prof. Karen J. Wilson (When Violence Begins at Home)
© 2010-2011, Anne Caroline Drake
All Copyright and Intellectual Property Rights Reserved and Strictly Enforced.
I am a first time author and I have written a book about my own personal experience.
Through the writing my book, I have found the strength and hope to come back from a very dark place. My greatest wish would be to impart that message to others. We can all achieve that. There is a place deep inside of us that remains untapped, unless you reach your lowest point, and allow the soul within you to take hold. Today my outlook on life is so very different, instead of the glass being half empty, the glass is half full. It was time to heal the child within me, she had suffered enough.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel; my aim is to reassure that.
After an accident in which I injured my back, I was ill health retired. This has given me the time and dedication to put pen to paper. My life was no longer full, and I found myself with an abundance of alone time, to sit and reflect everything I had tried so hard to bury. Although this has been extremely difficult for me, my hope is that anyone finding themselves in the same type of situation may take some strength from its content. If this book were to be catalogued where would it fall, a true account, a personal autobiography or self-help? The real truth is in all three.
Whilst writing, I was forced down a road that I never really wanted to walk again. It’s an insight to the lengths someone will go to achieve their goal. At times I had to walk away to deal with the emotions that it invoked. To say this person was very unhinged would be an understatement. Teetering on the edge of insanity, and crossing over more times than I can count. Where everyone else involved just became fall out. It was as if I were being pursued by the devil himself. Overly more there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop him and the destruction he left in his wake.
The facts within are very hard to believe, but believe it I must because I was there. It’s still incredible to me to think that I came out of it the other side. That said only just. I have spent many years under the mental health care umbrella, while trying to deal with the enormous sociological and psychological residue it has left behind.
Teresa Joyce was born on the 15th December 1958 the middle child of three. After losing her father at a very young age; this was to set the pattern for the rest of her life. Losing was something she would have to get used to. Today she still has some memory of her father, but in truth it’s all a little hazy. Her mother through no fault of her own after that loss had no other alternative, other than to return to her parent’s home with her children in tow. This family unit were to spend only a few years there, until the wind of change came around once more. Her mother was set to meet the man that was to become her stepfather, and they moved once more to a new city with the promise of a new life. Hopefully it would be a happy one for all concerned, but it became a place for Teresa that felt far more like a prison. One in which she would spend many years months days and hours hating. She swore to herself that she would leave all this behind at the first possible occasion.
Teresa Joyce – There’s a fine line
My web page http://www.teresajoyce.com
Email address – firstname.lastname@example.org
Publication date – 16th February 2011
Telephone number – England – 01275545676
Cell phone 07973955325
Skype – teresa3119
Covers – Memoir/Mental health system/Abuse/Sexuality
People would be hurt both physically and mentally. No one was safe if they stood in the way of my stepfather and what he claimed was his. I would be abused and blackmailed unable to stop or control anything going on around me; I felt that the only way out would be to check out on life completely and it seemed a welcoming prospect. Running from memories of all those years living by his rules, buried so deep within me I never really remembered or faced until I was forced to do so.
I would find myself in a situation that I had no control over and in the grip of a complete madman, who was hell bent on destroying my life. Running from memories of all those years living under his rules, buried so deep within me I never really remembered or faced until I was forced to do so.
I saw myself delving deeper and deeper into my own unconscious thoughts, revealing to me memories which seemed so alien. Happy memories for me are something that I hold in short supply, and I always thought that they were in my childhood, but that was about to be blown out of the water.
But the problem with opening Pandora’s Box was that once opened, I could no longer close the lid and I am still carrying it along with me – like an uninvited guest at a party that never knows when it’s time to leave. It has left me with an enormous sociological/psychiatric residue.
The onset of a set of circumstances beyond my control would stamp its seal, rendering my marriage unworkable. Engineered by the involvement of the one man I had learnt to hate – my stepfather.
I myself would spend many years within mental health care; in fact I am still under their care umbrella. I would move from a heterosexual relationship into a lesbian relationship. Firmly believing that anything controlled or even remotely integral to men, was something I never ever what’d part of again.
To sum it all up I really want to make a difference for those in need, I believe my book would do this. If you live your life with a rain cloud over your head, you will never know if it has stopped raining, unless you find the strength to put the umbrella down
Very informational. I am trying to get some attention to raise awareness on the Mothers that are victims of Domestic Violence and that are losing custody of their kids to their abusers. PROTECTING CUSTODIAL RIGHTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS http://www.change.org/petitions/protecting-custodial-rights-of-domestic-violence-victims?share_id=dKDtOOjZOQ&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter via @change
All I want to say is that ALL of you guys are amazing, God fearing roll models and most of us(teenagers) look up to you guys,thanks for having the courage to tell us about your stories, and thanks to you guys, I have learnt more about abuse and I could give better advice to my friends that are going through what you guys have gone through 😀 ❤ lots of luv….Dire
Am very glad I found this site. I work at Rainbird Foundation, a new non-profit dedicated to ENDING all forms of child abuse. I believe the only org on the planet with this goal. My question is regarding the “Sponsor of this site”. We are in the early stages of fundraising and looking for opportunities to generate donations, in lieu of a powerful board of directors with deep pockets. Can you please check us out at http://www.rainbirdfoundation.org? The site itself is in the process of being updated with an important piece of research regarding all contributing forms of life that perpetuate child abuse. I hope I have piqued your interest.
I NEED HELP FROM ANY AND EVERYONE. I AM STARTING A PROGRAM FOR ABUSE OF ALL KIND BUT AM BEGINNING AND SPEAKING ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE DATE RAPE INCEST MOLESTATION. I NEED INFORMATION RESOURCES STORIES BROUCHURES INFO ON SUPPORT GROUPS OR HOW TO START ONE….I NEED ANY AND EVERYTHING AVAILABLE. I AM IN AN AREA WHERE A LOT OF ABUSE IS GOING ON BUT I AM FINDING VERY LITTLE SUPPORT OR I JUST DON’T KNOW WHERE TO GO TO GET REAL SOLID HELP…. I AM WONDERING ABOUT CHRISTIAN GROUPS AS WELL THANK YOU… YOU CAN CONTACT ME AT email@example.com
The synposis on Carolyn Jessop includes incorrect information. Her ex-husband was a leader of the FLDS church, which is a completely seperate entity from the Mormon (LDS) church.
lololol and a bottle of rum
i was abused, and sexually abused as a child. i have read soo many stories about survivers. it is soo sad how could anyone do this to a small child, not anyone do anything about it. i have been pitched, kicked, i was almost drowned, raped and called horrible names. i have been to doctors, and taken medicans. thro my parenst are long dead, amoung other family members. thay are too blame; also because noone did anythig to help me. my brother was molusted too but he never did talk about it like i did, excuise my writting. or spelling.
Grr8 article. I loved it.
Thank you for puting this on you website i found it helpful x
I think abuse runs in families and I’ve seen abusers stick together and support each other and the one who tells the truth is the outcast and everyone blames them.
I stood up for my sister who is five years younger than me and she grew up and sided with the abusers and became abusive to me and slandered me yet she let the real abusers off the hook.
I think I know why; in attacking me she was rewarded by the group. It was very important for her to be accepted by the abusers and be part of their group and I was just one person and everybody had turned on me so she did too because she chose to not walk away and she needed a way to cope in that environment so she wouldn’t be the scapegoat. It’s an ugly way to live. The abusers are mean to each other to but they all stand together when they are attacking the black sheep scapegoat and it’s like they need the scapegoat for group cohesion and solidarity.
I’ve broke all ties with my family; I didn’t have any family support anyway and I never had a family, only people who hurt me and lied about me and then expected me to help them. The only time they contacted me was when they wanted me to do something for them or for someone in the group. They treated me with absolute disrespect and contempt. I have a hard time trusting anyone now. I am hypersensitive but the nightmares are fading and I am beginning to enjoy life.
Wow I just found this and I am amazed. I just read a new 2012 Book by paige Dearth called Believe like a child.
Believe Like a Child by Paige Dearth Review by Jackie Paulson © 06/2012
Paige Dearth was a victim of child rape. Paige escaped from her pedophile uncle at the age of 19 and got married. She married and moved to Chula Vista, California. After two years of being married, she got pregnant, only to find out her husband was addicted to heroin. When her baby was eight months old she moved back to Pennsylvania. It is Paige’s faith that kept her strong and able to face all of her fears to bring such a wonderful true to life story.
I have to say that it is an honor to be asked by Paige to review her book, I could feel the pain that Paige endured as a child. I love to read books to learn from them, but this book taught me how Paige endured her hardships but kept the fight of life to be better and overcome such horrific torment. It is proof that Paige can encourage and inspire each of her readers despite her lifetime trials.
Main Character is Alessa (Meaning defender of mankind), at age seven years old found her uncle in her bed, forcing sex upon her. Alessa is the youngest of four kids.
Main Character is Caterina whom was the youngest of 14 children, Alessa’s Mother.
In Alessa’s family turmoil was what Alessa’s family thrived on, whereas all Alessa wanted is to be around people who would make her feel loved and like she belonged in her family. This is not the case as she is the outcast everywhere she goes. Alessa’s family was very poor making her life all that much harder in the real world.
How did Uncle Danny get to Alessa? At age six Alessa’s grandma died and this was her best friend. Grandma made Alessa feel special, unlike all of the other family members. So during and after the funeral Uncle Danny made Alessa feel comforted, warm and loved. Alessa felt loved for the first time since Granny died. Uncle Danny was well liked by all family members; he made money, funny and well rounded type of guy. Danny was the type of guy anyone whom would love to be around and like. Danny’s girlfriend dies in a tragic car accident which brought him to realize he needed to be around family so Caterina offers a room for him. This helped Danny and Caterina because he needed a place to live and he paid rent for the room which in turn helped out Caterina with daily necessities the poor family needed.
At night Uncle Danny would comfort Alessa and let her fall asleep in his bedroom. Then around six months after granny died, Uncle Danny “raped” Alessa. This made Alessa feel isolated and alone, at the age of seven. After the first rape, Alessa started to sleep in her own bed and Uncle Danny would enter into the room late at night and continue the abuse.
By the time Alessa is nine years old, Uncle Danny made it a nightly ritual to help himself to Alessa. By the time she was 12, Uncle Danny wanted more from her and decided to have sex in ways “only a pedophile would do.”
Alessa childhood was robbed but despite it all it did prepare her with the resilience to hold on to her own dreams and later in life be greatly blessed.
Caterina’s lack of education had not stood in the way of mastering the “art of manipulation.” As an adolescent, Alessa would always face the brunt of her mother’s criticism, directed primarily at her lack of looks. Caterina was very beautiful and wanted Alessa not to dress so homely. Alessa was different than all of the other family members. As a discipline technique Caterina used a wooden spoon until one day it broke and then decides to use a metal spoon as her punishment of choice.
Two years, after Alessa’s first rape, she learned “how to be a survivor.” Deep down Alessa knew she would escape the nightmare. She was determined that someday; she would have all the things she dreamt of including love and a family.
Back when all of the abuse was happening, it was not normal to actually “tell” anyone what was happening in fear that she would not be helped or that “they” would believe her story. With that said, Alessa tells her mom about the abuse that was happening and the mother did not care. Since Alessa now knew the abuse from Uncle Danny would keep happening she vowed to herself that she would escape, somehow, someday!
The first chapter introduces the reader to Alessa’s mom, Caterina. This character reminded me of my own step mom whom made me feel unloved and like an outcast of seven children in our family. I was the brunt for many comments because I had buck teeth growing up and this did not help with feeling like a loner or unwanted feelings. I, too was different than all of the family members which helped me to identify with the character of Alessa. I, too was beaten with a wooden spoon as a child growing up in a strict Irish Catholic background. I was not sexually raped or abused but I can remember my father coming home late at night and plopping onto my tiny body to hug and kiss me. He smelled of alcohol and he made me feel smothered and or trapped as I lay there letting him do it. I was at the age of around six or seven years old.
Tom cruise is another survivor although he’s never been specific
I have a son that just told me he was raped as a child for 3 years , now all the peice fall in place as I look back on his action and how this has affected his difficult life, it has 25 years since the sexual abuse, it haunts me daily, thinking how my baby’s life was stole as a child. I really need help dealing with this
Oh, Jan, this is devastating news. I highly recommend Tyler Perry. He was homeless 20 years ago when he launched his first play ~ 32 people came ~ today he’s the #2 guy in Hollywood. It all started when he was watching Oprah, and she suggest he write in a journal every day. Those scribblings became his first play and the foundation of his success. He still has significant intimacy issues, but he’s working through those with his plays.
Tyler Perry has done more than anyone else in supporting his fellow sexual assault survivors. Humor heals. I never miss anything Tyler Perry produces ~ he’s done a great deal to help me heal, learn how to thrive, and find joy. Thank you for being concerned about your son. My best suggestion is to jettison any guilt you may feel so that you can focus on giving him the unconditional love and protection he needs to heal. Tyler Perry’s Madea character might just be the best medicine for both of you.
Good luck and God bless,
I am kaitlin dost im a feral woman who was raised by psychopaths i lived in the wild for one year ive been tortured abused and deprived for 19 years dealing with my learning disablitiys and my developmental disabilites my many mental health issues and my many health problems has been a challenge it is a learning expierence i have many talents i have not been discovered yet when i was 17 i got neglected really bad worse than all the other times and a mandated reporter ignored my life it took months to recover from it but i am still here i plan on being a therapist someday i think that ive created the very first support group for feral adults and feral children it is on my page on facebook look for the picture of a prison i have not overcome my challenges yet i still have problems that i have to overcome
i hope i can get discovered
as a child i was raised in foster homes…before with my mom my step dad used to molest me and my mom allowed it due to her drug usage…when i was 14 i was placed into the texas youth commision on an aggervated sexyal assault case that never happend the way it is described to b..
….while in the texas youth commission i fell into the largest sex secandal that would ever take place in the united states…you had to have sexual relations with guards to go home..they raped over 4000 kids. in 2008 i told my story tro the dallas morning news and my story flew across the contry..our government covered this scandal up including our ovonor. our government crashed hard and many ere raped. my whole sory is in the news u can see it live when u google faces of TYC or google chris gann man struggles to rebuild life
Your story should leave legions of good people ashamed for their failure to intervene on your behalf and protect you. I pray you are getting the support you need and deserve now to heal and build a solid foundation for your future. If you are not familiar with Tyler Perry, I urge you to check him out. His story isn’t as raw as your own, but he successfully transformed his pain into enormous wealth via humor.
I have taken the liberty of combining your comments because it is clear your words were hard for you to write.
Here is a link to your story for my readers: http://peopleagainstprisonabuse.com/TYC/manstruggles.html
Sending extra hugs and best wishes,
My name is Michelle. I grew up in a dis functional family. I was sexually abused by my brother and his friend at the age of 9. From there what I saw I repeated. Finding controlling abusive men. And really not knowing that this behavior was wrong. I grew up with abuse. Mothers boyfriends abusing me in every possible manner. Including hitting my mother. So I thought it was normal. Til the greatest thing happened. Some say your life is ruined. But I say it was gods way of keeping me alive to tell my story. I was married to an army SGT. I would was doing everything right. Keeping the house cleaned and doing all his bidding. Just like he got taught by his stepfather. Always belittling me in every way. “God your fat. Stop eating your entire meals.” Is what he would say. From the mental,emotional abuse, I thought I could take it. He would mellow out after he got his pay. Then strange things happened. He would ask me if I wanted to go out. We got a babysitter and go to dinner and I would have a beer with dinner. But when morning came around I could not remember what happened. He told me I had a bunch of beers and he had to carry me into the house. I ended up with marks on my body that could not be explained. Yet told me what happened and how I got them. I went out with some friends to go play pool. I knew I had one to many. So I called someone to come get me. The next thing I knew I was being arrested for DUI. And yes my husband did call the police on me. I went to prison cause in this town we lived in the men ( army and retired army) ran the county there. The men were always right. Women do not have a say. Well I was in prison
I found out that ( not really knowing) I seeked out this type of men. Now
I am out of prison and doing fine. Met a really good guy and plan on getting married soon. I help others who are doing the repeating patters also. Thank you for your story. It help knowing I am truly not alone anymore.
I am curious how many of these celebrities were abused as a result of their parents and/or spouses religious beliefs. Far too often I am seeing a connection between the two and the abuses go unreported to the authorities for many years because of religious intervention to varying degrees.
Quite a few. Some talk about it directly and others say it indirectly. I’ve noticed a significant percentage recover by studying Buddhist philosophy.
Your comment is number 1500 on this site, and I think it is perhaps the most perceptive. You might be interested in the work of Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune.
Pingback: Who Will Be the “Poster Child” for Sexually Abused Boys? — The Good Men Project·
Reblogged this on educationhillexpert.
MY NAME IS MISS JOYCE I AM A SINGER I HAVE BEEN SET UP FROM I HAVE LEFT CHASE FARM HOSPITAL SEPTEMBER 2011. WE WENT FOR XFACTOR 28TH JANUARY 2012 I WAS TOLD MISS JOYCE YOU HAVE A VERY TALENTED FAMILY. 18TH FEBRUARY 2012 11AM MY WHOLE WORLD FELL APART. MY BABY MY LITTLE GIRL PARADISE MAREE SAFFREY 8 YEARS OLD WAS DRAGGED OUT OF MY HOUSE BY 2 HORRIBLE POLICE OFFICERS. I HAVE BEEN TO 3 POLICE STATION SAYING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN I AM INNOCENT I LOVE CHILDREN. I HAVE BEEN BULLIED FROM I WAS A BABY AND AT THE AGE OF 52 I AM STILL BEING BULLIED, WE MOVER 9 TIMES AND THE EX HUSBAND IS 2 MINUTES UP MY ROAD. HE HAS ALWAYS SAID NOBODY ELSE MUST HAVE ME. I DIVORCE HIM BECAUSE HE COULD OF KILLED ME AND DANIEL AND SHAUN. HE IS DANGEROUS WHEN HE DID BEAT ME UP THE POLICE SAID THEIR IS NO BLOOD SO I CANNOT PRESS CHARGES DANIEL 5 YEARS OLD AND SHAUN WATCHED THE WAY HE BEAT ME UP. THE POLICE WAS ON HIS SIDE AND WE WHERE THE ONES TO MOVE 9 TIMES WHILE HE SAT IN 18 DENNY ROAD, EDMONTON N9. THE NEIGHBOUR ON THE LEFT BECAUSE OF IVAN JAYNARINE SINGH AND THE MOTHER AND HER DAUGHTER ON THE RIGHT LEFT BECAUSE OF HIME AND OF ALL THE SCREAMING I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS GET BEATING UP. HE USE TO RING MY MOTHER DYING OF CANCER 12 O CLOCK AT NIGHT SWEARING AT HER. HE BROKE MY FATHER NEW READING GLASSES HE JUST GOT FROM THE OPITICANS. HE IS EVIL AND WICKED HE BEAT UP ANITA WHO USE TO WORK IN NORTH MIDDLESEX THEN HE GOT MARRIED SHE FOUND ME AND SHOWED ME THE WEDDING PHOTO’S AND ASK THE QUESTIONS DID YOU HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR DID HE BEAT YOU UP FRIDAY NIGHT AND TRY TO STRANGLE AND DID HE BOLT THE TOP THEN BOLT THE BOTTOM THEN BEAT YOU UP I SAID TO EVERY SINGLE QUESTION. DID HE TRY TO PULL THE HAIR OUT OF YOUR HEAD YES HE DID DID HE KEEP YOU LOCKED UP IN THE HOUSE YES HE DID I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO GO ANY WHERE OR EVEN SPEAK TO ANYBODY. I WAS A PRISONER IN 18 DENNY ROAD N9. DANIEL MY ELDEST SAVED MY LIFE. THERE IS MORE BUT I AM IN A LIBRARY AND I FEEL I AM GOING TO CRY THE BROTHER AND SISTERS AND AUNT’S AND UNCLES DO NOT EVEN TALK TO ME. THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHO TALKED TO ME IS A BEAUTIFUL LADY NAME MISS ENID THAT’S THE NAME THEY CALL HER IN JAMAICA MY 1 IN A MILLION MUM. I LOST MUM THROUGH CANCER I SIMPLY WANTED TO DIE WITH HER. I DID TRY TO KILL MY SELF BUT ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE I WOULD NOT GET TO HEAVEN. BYE GOD BLESS MISS JOYCE. I HAVE A LITTLE GIRL SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD HER HORRIBLE WHO NEVER EVER WANTED ME TO HAVE HER HAS SEXUALLY ABUSED HER 2 TIMES AND TRIED TO STRANGLE DANIEL HAS RUN OFF WITH MY PARADISE HE IS USING THE MENTAL HEALTH AGAINST ME. HE IS BANNED FROM CHASE FARM HOSPITAL HE TRIED TO SNATCH HER OUT OF A CRIB AND ALL THE GIRLS WERE SCREAMING. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE SHE IS. I THINK I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD WHO HAS BEEN INTO 3 POLICE STATIONS SAYING I AM INNOCENT EDMONTON TOTTENHAM AND ENFIELD NOT ONE OF THEM HELP ME. I HAVE ONLY SWITCHED ON THE TV TODAY FROM 18TH FEBRUARY 2012 BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SEE MY BABY MY DAUGHTER MISS PARADISE MAREE SAFFREY ON THE TELEVISION. I WAS TOLE PARADISE FATHER IS USING THE MENTAL HEALTH AGAINST ME A CLINICAL DOCTOR SAID MISS SAFFREY THE DOCTOR’S YOU HAVE SCENE OVER 30 ODD YEARS ARE ALL WRONG YOU DO NOT HAVE BI POLAR MENTAL DEPRESSION. I SAID I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT ALL THOSE 30 ODD YEARS. THIS IS WHAT JASON PHILLIP NOEL USED AGAINST ME. HE HAS HAD SOCIAL SERVICES AND THE POLICE ON HIS SIDE AND THE BARNET COUNTY COURT AND PARADISE SCHOOL RAYNHAM IN EDMONTON N.18 ON HIS SIDE. MISS JEPP PARADISE SAID COME INTO MY OFFICE DO NOT GO WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN PARADISE SAID MISS JEPP SAID DRAW A PICTURE OF A LITTLE GIRL CRYING AND I WILL LET YOU LIVE YOUR MUMMY. THE LAST AND FINAL TIME I PICKED HER UP SHE SAID IT AGAIN DO NOT GO WITH THE OTHER SCHOOL CHILDREN COME INTO MY ROOM I WANT TO LOOK UP THE MEDICATION DR SULIEMAN HAS SAID YOU HAVE TO TAKE PARADISE SAID MISS JEPP KEEPS THE MEDICAL BOOK UNDER HER TABLE. WHEN I USED THE TOILET 1 DAY IN MY HOUSE I WAS IN SHOCK PARADISE HAD WROTE NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ALL OVER THE KITCHEN AND ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM WALL. I CALLED MY DAD STRAIGHT AWAY WHEN HE GOT TO THE HOUSE HE SAID WHAT ON EARTH HAS HE DONE TO MY GRANDAUGHTER.
I have been molested, raped,& sexually assaulted more time than I can count by babysitters, friends from school/ neighborhood, & ‘family’.
Recently, my young cousin confessed to me that her father, Juan Chairez, Jr. Had been molesting her and she lost her virginity when he first raped and sodomized her in the beginning of her fifth grade year at school. I KNEW she was telling the truth bc of the words se chose, her body language, & especially bc I had similar experiences with her ‘dad’.
Since I’ve been researching, I discovered that our ‘family tradition’ has gone on for at least 5 generations…& counting.
I announced on Facebook (around Mother’s Day of 2014) my own history of abuse (although I didn’t mention names, at first)…and then the shite really hit the fan.
I have received death threats from my own family; been physically assaulted by my own mother in broad daylight-on my own porch; have had ppl ‘casing’ my house; & have had several false charges and accusations brought against me to try to silence me.
I refuse to back down bc I still have a little girls life to save from this distorted dysfunctional family. Reading this helps inspire and strengthen me. I needed a boost and to re-boot. Thank you for sharing these stories with those of us who prefer to be SURVIVORS rather than to continue to be victims. God bless you all 🙂
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/66711. Please please help by signing&sharing then ask your friends too please
Thank you, Eileen. If you would like to write a guest post about Coventry Haven, I would be honored to publish it.
Wishing you all the best,
Ever known someone who was abused? PLZ RT! – A Child Shouldn’t Have To Live Like That! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx55IKNukFw …
Very inspiring post, thank you.
Pingback: PTSD – 30 Famous Trauma Survivors – Part 1 | Trauma and Dissociation·
hi it will be seven years this December that I have been free from the abuse that was done to me back in 2008. I was abused for five months and my ex did anything and everything he could to kill me but I made it out alive with my kids. to this day I have problems medical but I don’t let that get me done. I am a very strong will person and my faith is very strong too. I have never gave up even the times got hard I got back up and moved forward. we all need to be and stay strong and look to the future. god has a plan for all of us. I know I am helping other people who have also been abused and I am in the process of writing a book about my life and what I been through.
Bravo to you! May God bless you abundantly.
my autobiography out of the shadows about the devastating impact being abused in a catholic school as child sexually physically and mentally tortured is going to be made into film
Please accept my hugs and gratitude for you comment. I am so sorry to hear about your experiences and hope that your book and movie will be financially rewarding for you.
Thank you for breaking down the walls of silence and for your courage.
thank you for your reply I would love a famous person to read my autobiography I wonder if anyone famous was abused in a catholic institution if good men stay silent evil will prevail who exactly is Anne Caroline allways nice to know who I am talking to have you written much yourself
financial reward has no significance the catholic church created a worldwide sadistic paedophile ring covered up in lies and conspiracy by the pope all leaders of this evil corrupt organisation some victims were as young as three many catholic priests are in prison hundreds convicted publicity is their enemy they prefer to operate like j savile behind a cloak of respectability my story is so victims are not forgotten very best wishes what are your aspirations now regarding abuse
Reblogged this on simplicity, courage, and individualism and commented:
Pingback: How Many People Have Survived Cancer | My Blog·
Pingback: How Many People Have Survived Cancer | My Blog·
As a victim of sexual abuse for ten years and physical abuse by the woman that gave me life for many years. I never called her mom; only called by her first name. I was raped recently. Healing, definitely will get some of the books. It helps to know what was swept under the table because of our families, myths past down, being seen as second class citizens and the way the judicial system treats victims of abuse. To me its overwhelming to know our voices are deafening the silence. Like i said healing. This helps me to know i can better version of me. I am still capable…
Reading the news story about Republican Rep. Eastman from Alaska, was probably the most horrific example of where the GOP has sunk to. He calls himself a Christian also, as he states that child abuse children who die as a result of the assault is a monetary savings in the long run. I am a survivor of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, starting at 2 years of age, through 19. I am 72, male, single, and alone, as my family chose to turn on me after I came out as gay. These same family members who abused me. I work, pay taxes, help my friends and neighbors whenever they need my assistance. I’ve never been in love, or had a significant relationship, or felt supported by family. My life has been very disappointing and lonely and hard. And hearing Eastman state that hate filled conclusion on savings versus the death of an abused child, tells me that the Republican Party and Evangelicals that state all GLBTQ+ individuals should be shot in the head, are fascists and that the America I love is not a safe place for children or any marginalized individual. Why are people so full of hate in charge of my future?
I try to find something good in my life each day. I still have hope in finding love and happiness. I am still optimistic. I have to cling to what I believe in, when the world seems to be headed towards disintegration of all that is great and valuable and worth living for. It is a sad time in the history of this nation. Voting is our best hope to rid this place of those who have sold their souls for power. Vote them out. That is the best way to save the bottom line.
So sorry that I have been retired and have not stayed on top of my blog. Your thoughtful, candid comment deserved a much more timely reply.
My relatives have similarly ostracized me because I spoke up about the molestation I experienced from my uncle with an assist from my dad. It’s hard to trust, and this most definitely makes intimate relationships challenging if not nearly impossible.
This year I’ll be 75 and share your hope that I too will find unconditional love before I depart this earth. I hear you and believe that our experiences are sadly a harsh byproduct of the child abuse dynamic.
It’s too bad I didn’t know you back in the day. I fixed up a LOT of gay men, and it would have been my pleasure to help you find love too.
Wishing you all the very best,
Hello Anne Caroline. Thank you for your response to my comments concerning the hideous remarks of the the congressman in Alaska. I so appreciate the kindness you expressed. I am so sorry that you also suffered the type of abuse that so many of us have. We are not victims, we are survivors. We are still here trying to make the best of our lives. We maybe damaged goods, but we are still goods, never the less. It is too bad that there are so many people in power, that refuse to find the courage to show any form of compassion and understanding toward abused citizenry. We are watching this nation’s states and federal legislatures, enacting laws to harm marginalised groups, not to mention all women’s reproductive rights. As a sex abuse survivor, and gay, I now have to worry about trying to survive with less rights than the general population. Losing what little rights we have as the GLBTQ+ community, is now the reality we face. As of this morning, there have been 457 pieces of legislation across the nation to reduce the rights of the GLBTQ+ community. Our lives are in jeopardy. I live in Dallas where we have a huge Queer presence. Evangelicals are preaching in their congregations, that we should be faced against a wall and shot in the back of our heads. The GOP, MAGA groups, Evangelicals, Proud Boys, etc., have decided to get inside our private lives with their view on SEX, and what that means. It has become a much scarier place, this United States of America.
Sexual anything, is where the GOP has focused in with laser precision. Always with the undercover of “What God Preaches”. It is so tiring to have memories of sexual abuse multiplied by having to hear that what I feel comfortable with, and who God made me, possibly becoming a felony. My friends and I talk of where we need to move to as “REFUGEES”, in order to find the promise of “LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS”. Our constitution is nothing in the eyes of a GOP minority. UNFORTUNATELY, the majority of the nation will suffer. The hatred of the far right groups, that have drunk the Kool Aid, has given birth to a dangerous CULT, that is led by greed, POWER, conspiracy theories and the Evangelicals that gave a pass to an Autocrat.
An Autocrat that has been obsessed with sex, Power, greed, control, and stated he wished he could date his daughter. This is so personally painful to me and others. Sorry that I’ve gone off on my grievances on a Sunday morning.
Thank you again for your lovely message that gave me a “hand up” psychologically. I will continue to be a survivor, wherever I end up.
I will continue to live my life authentically. I will continue to search for happiness and contentment. I will continue to listen to anyone who needs an ear to lessen their painful past.
I send you Love and Light. Jay
Oh, Jay. My oldest sister is an Evangelical “Christian.” We have gay relatives who have been ostracized and treated horrifically. This is why I have estranged myself from them. Both my grandfathers were strident Democrats, and I’m sure they are rolling in their graves because some family members are all-in for Trump. WTF?
Yes. We are survivors. Victims are dead people. I started this blog in 2009 to share the best practices of people who have navigated from survivor to thriver to joy. I’m still astonished that there are so many of us ~ nearly 1 million people from every country in the world have visited. Boggles my mind.
I can’t imagine how oppressive life must be for gay people and women in Texas. The government doesn’t seem to accept that pesky commandment about not killing or God’s command for us to love one another. Our governor just flipped off the governor of Idaho on the issue of abortion.
If you are seeking a place where you will feel welcomed, I highly recommend WA State and the Seattle metropolitan area. The gay community has considerable political power. The natives, however, have a reputation for being notoriously unfriendly. Fortunately, we have enough transplants to make life pleasant. On a sunny day, the vistas still take my breath away. Most of the jobs are related to technology and pay quite well.
We don’t have Pride Week. June is Pride month. If you can take time off, I’d like to invite you to visit and check Seattle out. Bring your friends and join the party.
Wishing you peace and joy,