Dr. Phil McGraw announced today that his 9th season will End the Silence on Domestic Violence. It was the 16th anniversary of the day President Clinton signed the Violence Against Women Act into law, but nobody picked up on this fact ~ including the VAW office at the Department of Justice. On his blog, Dr. Phil explained:
We’re beginning a powerful and very dramatic season-long campaign against domestic violence. . .
When we launched the Dr. Phil show, I told you that I wanted to deal with the silent epidemics in America, and I want to go after this particular epidemic in a very big way. . .
We’re going to be working with schools to create curriculums so that young men in America know, without a shadow of a doubt, that domestic abuse is never OK — and that there are ways to resolve conflict without resorting to physical violence. And, we’re organizing a task force with U.S. Congresspersons and with state legislators: men and women who can create legislation that will empower women to stand up for themselves or give them alternatives to living in an abusive situation.
On top of that, we’re creating a special place on DrPhil.com where you can go for updates and information, and where you can sign up to join this campaign. I’m calling those of you who join us the Silence Breakers. There will be times that you will get an e-mail from me where I say, “Silence Breakers, it is time to make some noise.”
His show has partnered with the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV). Sue Else, NNEDV’s president, appeared on the show to kick off the season-long campaign.
Dr. Phil has invited viewers to sign a pledge to become a “Silence Breaker.” He’s selling T-shirts with the “End the Silence” logo for $20. He claims 100% of the money raised will be donated to the shelter system.
Today’s show featured Congresswoman Gwen Moore (D-WI4), who is an abuse survivor and chief sponsor of H.R. 4116 which reauthorizes the Family Violence and Prevention Services Act. Dr. Phil has asked his viewers to write their congressperson to demand a vote on the bill. Dr. Phil promised Rep. Moore that he would present expert testimony before Congress this fall.
H.R. 4116 currently has 114 cosponsors including a few members of the subcommittee (*) that must approve it before it can move to the House of Representatives for a vote:
- Eleanor Norton (D-DC)
- Judy Biggert (R-IL13)
- Judy Chu (D-CA32)*
- John Conyers (D-MI14)
- Jay Inslee (D-WA1)
- James McDermott (D-WA7)
- Grace Napolitano (D-CA38)
- Todd Russell Platts (R-PA19)* ranking minority leader
- Carol Shea-Porter (D-NH1)*
- Dave Reichert (R-WA8)
- Paul D. Tonko (D-NY21)*
If you are represented in Congress by any of the folks on this list or the other co-sponsors, you should think seriously about contributing to their campaigns or volunteering to help them get re-elected. They have your best interests at heart.
H.R. 4116 is stuck in the House Education and Labor Subcommittee on Healthy Familes and Communities. I’m guessing that’s because a substantial number of the members of this subcommittee are notably absent from the list of cosponsors:
- Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY) [Chairwoman]: 202-225-5516
- Yvette Clarke (D-NY): 202-225-6231
- Bobby Scott (D-VA): 202-225-8351
- Jared Polis (D-CO): 202-225-2161
- George Miller (D-CA): 202-225-2095
- Howard P. (Buck) McKeon (R-CA): 202-225-1956
- Brett Guthrie (R-KY): 202-225-3501
- Phil Roe (R-TN): 202-225-6356
- Glenn (GT) Thompson (R-PA): 202-225-5121
If you are being represented in Congress by any of those folks, you might want to question whether they have your best interests at heart before you vote to re-elect them.
Dr. Phil’s producers are looking for domestic violence survivors to be on his show to discuss parental alienation.
Anne Caroline Drake 
I was so glad to see the Dr Phil show on 9/13. Since June 2009, I have been living the same life as the guest and although I am a 53 y/o adult female who is a retired AF officer and have a Master’s Degree in economics, I still let a man emotionally and financially abuse me. I tried to commit suiside in Feb 2010. In July 2010 my husband (of one year, who alos has a drug problem) was convicted of 2 domestic violence charges which his lawyer tried to say were “minor” and I should not even heve filed. I worked with the VA Commenwealth Attorneys Office to have his domestic charges filed. He thought he would walk, but I did not let my heart (sickness) get in the way and I didn’t listen to him to be on his side to try to get him off. He was only given probation for that and still allowed to live in the home because we are married (per state of VA.) But he is now in jail due to possession of drugs and I finally got the nerve to get the protection order last week so he cannot return to the home.
The thing I want to share is that I also had the problem with calling the police at least 7 – 8 times since November 2009 but they stated they “could not do anything” because he had not hit me. Although he had threatened to kill me, my kids, my animals, etc., he never got arrested because he hadn’t “hurt me.” Yet he had punched holes in doors, threw keys away so I couldn’t drive away, took the cell phones and broke them so I couldn’t call for help and physically restrained me from leaving. In May 2010 while camping in the middle of a park, he strangled me, and no one could hear me screaming, because I told him I was divorcing him. So I want others to know that even if you are not being hit, you are being abused. And the abuser has the sickness, not you. It is a self esteem issue usually that draws you to this type of man. But I heard something on the show which really made sense… they know who to target you. That was so awesome!!
I have so much support with the military doctors, the Veterans Admin, a local domistic violence group, family, etc. so I have been lucky. The problem lies in that when you are in the abusive relationship you don’t want to let anyone know so you won’t get out. I can only hope Dr Phil and NNEDV help at least one woman walk away from domestic violence per day, week, whatever.
Brenda,
Thank you so much for visiting and leaving a comment. I am delighted for you that you have found support because that’s rare. And, I’m ecstatic that you were able to survive the attempted murder on your camping trip. We are most at risk when we leave and are out of the relationship. Nobody tells us that. They suggest we’ll be fine if we would just leave.
We frequently hear about the end of the road with physical abuse, but nobody seems to talk about the end of the road with emotional abuse ~ suicide. Nobody keeps track of those statistics.
I’m absolutely thrilled that Dr. Phil has taken on this issue. I will admit that I was disappointed that it took him so long to hold the man accountable. Maybe he was giving the guy enough rope to really hang himelf.
If you are in the DC area, you might be interested in the Saving Promise national road tour which launches this weekend.
Your husband is likely a malignant narcissist. He’s sick. There are a whole lot of guys out there like him, and they are expert at hiding their real selves until they have us where they want us. So, please don’t beat yourself for falling in love and hoping for a happily ever after.
I wish you well as you heal and blossom again. In time, I hope you will contribute your wisdom as a retired military officer and economist to helping other women survive, thrive, and find joy.
Sending hugs,
Anne Caroline
Another great post! We stand beside you and will fight to the bitter end and make sure that every citizen is outraged at the treatment of women and children!
Thanks, Lorraine! I hope many of your members will be guests on Dr. Phil’s show. It appears his producers plan to shine a bright light on parental alienation.
Sending hugs,
Anne Caroline