V-Day 2010: Celebrating My Blog’s First Anniversary


Path to Victory

Happy V-Day!

A year ago I embarked on a grand adventure.  In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would have 17,890 visitors my first year.  My humble little web site is about as obscure as it can get, and I write about an issue most folks would prefer to see swept under the carpet.

I’ve written 186 posts.

My most popular post was about Elizabeth Gilbert’s first lesson in Balinese meditation:  Smile with your liver!  My busiest day was January 5, 2010 when her new book Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage was published.

Y’all seem to like my Life Rafts posts about people who have survived abuse.  Rihanna’s story was your favorite.  It seemed to break down the walls of silence about domestic violence.

There was a great deal of interest in stories about litigation abuse and abuse of power ~ stories about systemic dysfunctions:  Sandra BossNancy P. Tyler, and Carolyn Jessop.   

A group of runners got highly incensed because Judge Felnagle granted bail to a Maurice Clemmons, who allegedly molested his daughter before he shot four cops in Lakewood, WA.  He denied bail to a couple of punks who brutally tortured a stray dog until they killed it.  Why?  Court watchers packed the court room in the animal abuse case, but didn’t for Clemmons’ daughter.

Vernetta Cockerham

Victory for Vernetta

Vernetta Cockerham’s story, however, was the most significant of the year.  RitaAnita Linger, the former director of the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence, told me about the litigation abuse Vernetta had experienced.  The injustices Vernetta experienced were so horrendous that Oprah invested in an investigative journalism piece in her August, 2009 issue of O Magazine.  On her web site, Oprah now has a list of resources available to people experiencing domestic violence including links to Vernetta’s story.

Rita Anita Linger, M.A.

Vernetta ultimately prevailed after RitaAnita packed the court room with people wearing purple ribbons.

Barbara Bentley Danced with the Devil

Barbara Bentley is the author of A Dance with the Devil:  A True Story of Marriage to a Psychopath.  Ms. Bentley was awarded the Paul H. Chapman prize for her work to change California’s divorce laws thereby prohibiting abusive spouses from being able to profit from their criminal behavior.  Her story was featured on Dateline.

Tyler Perry Kicked Butt

Despite losing his beloved mother to cancer,Tyler Perry kicked butt breaking down the walls of silence about domestic violence.  He and Oprah became executive producers of Precious which is one of two movies about child abuse on the short list for a best picture Oscar.   I was blessed to see his new play Madea’s Big Happy Family shortly after my mother threw me under the bus.

Eve Ensler’s Lesson
The need to please robs us of our power.
– Eve Ensler

Although my mother’s betrayal was inordinately painful, I found myself surrounded in a circle of protection by spiritual sisters.  I cannot begin to thank all of you for your love and support.  While Eve Ensler was promoting her new bookI Am an Emotional Creature:  The Secret Life of Girls Around the World, I realized I had paid a tremendous price by trying to please my mother.  We can never be truly empowered if we are dancing to another person’s tune.

It reminds me of the day that Iyanla Vanzant taught me that poverty is a state of mind.  During the taping of an Oprah show, she suggested that I wasn’t poor ~ I was merely temporarily short on cash.

She’s right.  I have been abundantly blessed by the people I have met via my humble little web site.  I have been continually blessed by the love and support of the folks in my own protection circle.  I didn’t hear a word from anyone in my very huge family, but my dear friend Elena found time to send virtual hugs on her way to her beloved father’s funeral in Russia.  Laura has also be remarkably supportive as has RitaAnita.  Julie and Sheila keep me laughing through my tears.  And, Kiwi Mary has helped keep me focused.

Shout Out to the NNEDV

Some of you may have noticed that the logo for the National Network to End Domestic Violence is prominently featured on my web pages.  This web site would be dark today but for the NNEDV’s generosity.  So, if you have the financial ability to do so, I hope you will give generously to the NNEDV.  Their Amy’s Fund is broke with lots of women needing help.  I want to thank Rene for finding a few dollars to keep this site going and to help me take a class on writing a non-fiction book proposal.

My dream for this next year is to continue to break down the walls of silence about domestic violence.  I’m hoping to stage a national “coming out” party for survivors of domestic violence.  It appears many of the major pieces are floating around in the universe.  They just need to be assembled and packaged.

Thank you to all my visitors ~ especially the ones who took the time to leave comments.  I pray that y’all are safe and happy this Valentine’s Day!  May y’all be blessed abundantly and find true love.

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7 responses to “V-Day 2010: Celebrating My Blog’s First Anniversary

  1. Congrats — although that’s a word I hate to apply to such an insidious, important subject that needs all the attention brought to it we all can muster. So my congrats are to you, Caroline, for such tireless, thoughtful, insightful, passionate and tireless (from our, the reader’s point of view — not from yours, I can guess!) work in getting our attention on domestic violence.

  2. Thank You for Whom You Are..

    Who Are You?

    It is not what you own,
    but it is what you give.
    It is not what you learn,
    but it is what you live.
    It is not what you promise but it is what you really do, that makes the Person Known as YOU!!!
    You make a difference Thanks again..
    Vernetta

  3. hi caroline ,
    congratulations you made it ,and dream come true , am very proud of you and hard work you put in, you are a amazing lady ,,and deserve every minute you put into this , good job ,
    and good luck ! hope you ill hit 1,000,000
    love inga

  4. Oh, Inga, thank you! From your lips to God’s ears!

    On Valentine’s Day this year, I had more visitors than last February. In the first six months of 2010, I’ve had half as many visitors as I had in total in 2009.

    It’s been a whole lot of fun.

    Sending hugs,
    Caroline

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