The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges has an excellent guidebook for judges: A Judicial Guide to Child Safety in Custody Cases.
If you are divorcing an abusive, pit bull or a narcissist (also known as a sociopath or psychopath), click on the book’s title. It will take you to a PDF copy of the guidebook which you can read or print out (52 pages) and give to your judge and attorney. You might be interested in looking at other publications ~ many of which are free or available at low cost ~ available from this group which is located on the campus of the University of Nevada in Reno at 1041 North Virginia Street:
National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges
P.O. Box 8970
Reno, NV 89507
Telephone: (775) 784-6012
Fax: (775) 784-6628
Judicial training is available on how to appropriately handle divorce cases involving family violence. But, too many judges allow their courts to be manipulated as an instrument of abuse. This can be particularly true in child custody battles.
This book is free, and it can help clueless twit judges get up to speed. It will also put judges who are abusive behind their own closed doors on notice. The book has 14 nifty bench cards that a judge can use as a check-list during trial proceedings.
You might want to highlight key provisions such as:
A Word of Caution about Parental Alienation (PAS)
Under relevant evidentiary standards, the court should not accept testimony regarding parental alienation syndrome, or “PAS.” The theory positing the existence of PAS has been discredited by the scientific community.
Generally speaking, it is considered detrimental to a child and not in his or her best interest to be placed in sole custody, joint legal custody, or joint physical custody with the abusive parent.
Courtroom Behavior of the Abusive Parent
There are some behaviors, however, that indicate disrespect toward the other parent. These behaviors should raise red flags for you to determine whether they result from a pattern of control.
Often abusive parents present well, as they are skilled at maintaining control. An abusive parent might:
• Believe or claim that the other parent is stupid, unsophisticated, or inflexible.
• Anger easily.
• Behave in an arrogant or superior manner.
• Attempt to present as the true victim in the relationship.
• Appear vulnerable or otherwise engender empathy with the court or with third parties.
• Be unwilling to understand another’s perspective.
• Expect the child to meet the parent’s needs.
• Advocate or adhere to strict gender roles.
• Patronize the other party, counsel, and even the court.
• Attempt to create an alliance with you.
• Minimize, deny, blame others for, or excuse inappropriate behavior.
This controlled courtroom presence of the abusive parent may contrast with the at-risk parent’s behavior.
My blogroll lists the blogs of warrior survivors ~ people who have walked or are walking in your shoes. If you click on the links to these blogs, you will find a wealth of information and resources. A link to the judicial guide is also on my blogroll.
Update: There is a corrosive element in the protective mothers’ movement. If you are new to the protective mothers issue, I hope you will take the time to read Lundy Bancroft’s post: