John Wayne Bobbitt: Pit Bull

John Wayne Bobbitt

It is difficult to explain the difference between a “pit bull” abuser ~ the kind that won’t let go ~ and a “cobra” abuser ~ the kind who will strike to kill when he/she feels threatened.

John Wayne Bobbitt is a quintessential “pit bull” abuser.  For those of you who need to understand the difference in order to craft a viable safety plan, I strongly urge you to visit The Insider web site and look at tonight’s clip several times.

John and Lorena Bobbitt

The Insider is a gossip show.  He’s not “in love” with his ex-wife Lorena Gallo.  Listen and watch closely.  He can’t let go.  He’s seizing the opportunity to get back with Lorena with everything he’s got.  This is what the experts mean by “control.”  Like most abusive people, he’s in denial.  His “mea culpa” admissions are just enough to make him appear sympathetic.

Loreno Gallo

Listen and watch Lorena closely.  She’s smart.  She’s not buying any of it.  She’s telling him with everything that she’s got that it is over.  She’s “constructing boundaries.”

I hope that she knows that when he finally understands that she’s moved on that she’s at substantial risk.

If you are one of the millions of women walking in Lorena’s shoes, click on the “pit bull” and “safety plan” tabs at the top of this post.  Surf around this site.  Every day I add new information to guide you in your quest for freedom and recovery from abuse.

Related Post:

Lorena’s Red Wagon

3 responses to “John Wayne Bobbitt: Pit Bull

  1. My ex whom I have a child with is in prison for attempted murder on me. In July 2004 when my son was 10 months old, I left his father fleeing from Georgia to Colorado while he was at work to get away from his violent behavior. In September 2005 my ex came out to Colorado on good terms for our sons 2nd birthday. I had another boyfriend and made it clear that it was over. Later that eveninig he beat me severely and strangled me to the point of a loss of conciousness and bodily function, urinating on myself. When i gained conciousness he said he did that because I was trying to control him. Well He got a 6 year sentence in 2005. In 2007 he sent me a DVD from prison “The father read program” where he is reading books to my son on the DVD. He syas hello to us and wishes me a happy mothers day. Well he got a charge for violating out protection order for that. Now it 2009 and he is getting ready to be released from prison in December. What should I do to protect me and my son? Get a gun? Do you think he’s learned his lesson and will leave us alone? Should I run and hide? I just don’t know what to do. The last four years have been the most tormenting years of my life.

  2. Anna,

    Thank you for leaving a comment. First, I want to commend you for being proactive, resourceful, and assertive. Do you have a protection circle of family and friends? Is your protection order still in force?

    I’m not a big fan of guns. The probability that you’ll have a loaded gun in your hand when you need it is slim. The greater probability is that your son could decide to play with it and hurt himself. Or, your ex could use it to shoot you.

    I am, however, a huge fan of alarm systems. If you don’t have a lot of money, I highly recommend hanging bells from your door handles and bedrooms that aren’t on the first floor.

    A class in self-defense might help you feel less vulnerable. So will a couple of baseball bats.

    I’m also a fan of big dogs. If you have PTSD (which you probably do), you can probably classify your dog as a service animal rather than a pet ~ this means no pet deposits at apartments.

    If you are still in Colorado, my first recommendation would be to join their Address Confidentiality Program which started in July, 2008:

    Colorado Address Confidentiality Program
    1001 E. 62nd Ave.
    Denver, CO 80216
    (303) 869-4911

    My next suggestion would be to raise hell with the governor of Colorado. Math isn’t my best subject, but 2005 + 6 years = 2011. Why are they letting him out early when he violated the protection order from prison??? What do the good folks of Colorado intend to do to protect you and your son? If they don’t have a plan in place to protect you, they have no business letting his sorry behind out of prison. Prison overcrowding isn’t your problem. It’s theirs.

    Heather Thompson is someone who walked in your shoes. She pitched a royal fit. She was on blog talk radio and then the TODAY SHOW. . .their producers don’t have a sense of humor about domestic violence.

    The DENVER POST several years ago invested heavily on an investigative journalism piece about sexual assault in the military. So, I’m guessing you can probably still find a reporter there who will dig around and ask some hard questions of the politicians.

    This probably sounds daunting to you, but you don’t have to travel this road alone. I would ask for help from the prosecutors who sent him to prison. They probably have DV advocates on staff who might help you launch a campaign. Another resource they should have is crime victims assistance. The other place I would go would be straight to the executive director of Colorado’s DV coalition. Your concerns are beyond what they can do at the local shelter level:

    Denise Washington, Executive Director, ext. 818
    1120 Lincoln Street, Suite 900
    Denver, CO 80203

    phone: (303) 831-9632
    toll-free: (888) 778-7091
    fax: (303) 832-7067

    Hopefully, Ms. Washington will work as hard for you as Rita Anita Linger did for Heather Thompson. If she seems to not know what to do, I will call her with current contact information for Rita Anita. Don’t dawdle. Rita Anita has an assignment outside the country in October and won’t be available. And, she doesn’t work for the NC coalition anymore.

    Do I think he’s learned his lesson? Not likely. My guess is that he’s a pit bull sociopath which means he doesn’t believe he did anything wrong.

    Should you run and hide? Do you enjoy living in Colorado? Is there someplace else you’d like to live? I think moving might be a good idea ~ especially if he has your current address. In some states, you can break an apartment lease without penalty if domestic violence is an issue. But, you want to get into an Address Confidentiality Program first.

    I think one of the reasons you probably feel tormented is that you don’t feel like you are in control of your destiny ~ he is. This may sound frivolous, but I highly recommend getting yourself a stack of magazines and making a collage of the life you’d like to live. The process will surface your dreams and make it easier for you to clearly articulate to those being PAID to protect you how to give you the help you need.

    Hopefully, Colorado’s DV coalition has a survivor’s fund that can help you get the things you will need to stay safe. If not, don’t let them hand you a long list of phone numbers. Tell them you know all about “creaming,” and you want to know which agency on their list is actually going to help you. Then, ask them to call and make an appointment for you. . .you’ll get better service than if you call yourself.

    Be assertive and respectful with everyone. It may take awhile for you to find the person who will be an effective advocate for you. Not everybody who gets paid to do a job does it well. And, some people who do this work can’t help us because they haven’t sufficiently healed from their own experiences of domestic violence.

    Remember, Anna, that you aren’t alone. If you have questions, I’ll be happy to write a post about whatever you need to know. I hope you’ll visit my site again and let me know how I can organize it to better help people like you. Anna Caroline was my grandmother’s name.

    May God bless and protect you,

  3. Thank you so much for the advice, it is really helpful. I am no longer in the state of Colorado, but I was a member of the ACP there.You have given me a lot of helpful resources and I plan to make use of them. Also I wanted to see if there was any way we could get my name and email address off this website. Maybe use an alias. I thought about it and I don’t feel safe w/ my info out there. He will probably search for me. Thank you again for your help. Your website is great. I’ve read a lot and yours offered a lot of information and motivation. I believe I was reading for about two hours.

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