Adolph Hitler and Osama bin Laden are malignant narcissists. Terrorists who spin grandiose illusions of a perfect world.
The Wizard of Oz is a perfect metaphor for understanding the terrorists in our own homes. Abusive people are narcissists. Some are more malignant (deadly) than others. Narcissists suck us in with their wizardly illusions. We are charmed by their promises. We feel lucky and blessed to be chosen.
Yet, in time, we get hit by the tornado. We get spun around until we’re not quite sure whether we’re in Kansas or in Oz. Ultimately, we realize that our hero is actually an insecure wizard hiding behind a curtain. We also discover it isn’t so easy getting away. It isn’t as simple as clicking the heels of our magic red slippers.
Why Aren’t Wizards Held Accountable?
I am astounded by how frequently malignant narcissists (wizards) are able to evade accountability. Why does it take society so long to pull back the curtain to reveal the truth? I think it is because we all desperately want the illusion to be real. We want to find that yellow brick road that will take us to the Emerald City.
We want to believe we grew up in a loving home. We want to believe the man we love won’t harm us. We want to feel we are safe in our homes. We want the happy ending.
The Yellow Brick Road
Narcissists are very persuasive, master manipulators. Those closest to them get sucked into the illusion ~ the grand promise ~ a fairy tale that isn’t likely to have a happy ending.
We find ourselves on the yellow brick road thinking we’re off on a grand adventure. It takes us a while to realize the journey is more fantasy than reality ~ a quixotic and futile quest ~ another empty promise.
Narcissists wear masks when in public. They con people into believing the facade is real. But, people who know them behind closed doors know the evil underneath those masks.
Since narcissists need to believe they are perfect, they project their flaws onto others. In other words, dishonest narcissists will suggest honest people are corrupt. Their lives are like a shell game or Ponzi scheme. A cruel narcissist will see himself as the victim rather than as a predator.
It’s enough to drive the most solid person crazy.
NarcIssIstIc ~ the Word Says It All: “I ~ I ~ I”
“It’s all about me” is a narcissist’s mantra. People involved with narcissists often wonder when they’ll get their turn. Never. Narcissists lack empathy. The only time they care about what’s happening in your life is when they are trying to figure out how they can manipulate your circumstances to benefit them.
What Do You Do?
Good question. I don’t even pretend to have the answers. Neither do the experts. But, I’m going on a quest to try to figure it out. I hope I don’t encounter too many wizards along the way.
Related post: “Never Date a Narcissistic Man” by Linda Lowen.
Next: Review of The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor D. Payson, M.S.W.