I’m pro-life. This is why I am stridently pro-choice. As most of y’all know, I am an unwanted child. The Declaration of Independence might have been written on my family’s paper, but this kid never got a real shot at her right to life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness.
My classmates were envious of the white-privileged life they imagined went on behind closed doors because they didn’t realize that the perpetual citizens of the year were abusive monsters. These malignant narcissists weren’t ready, willing, or able to be parents.
I spent my childhood in a futile hunt for a loving home. I had wild fantasies that a couple who would cherish me would sweep me into their loving home and nurture and guide me so that I could to live up to my amazing potential. It sadly never happened.
Fifty years ago tomorrow I married a guy I barely knew ~ 20 is way to young to make a prudent choice in a mate for life ~ with the naive expectation he would love and cherish me. He didn’t. He was very emotionally abusive. We split on our 11th wedding anniversary when I discovered he was having an affair with his soon to be second wife. He’s had three or four. The last was a dermatologist who committed suicide in February. There but for the grace of God. . .
I’m calling bullshit today on the “pro-life” movement because they don’t give a damn about the quality of a child’s life once it is born. If they did, assault weapons would have been banned with more passion than abortions. If they did, they would be lined up to adopt children from the foster care system. They wouldn’t bitch about the cost of welfare or education. They would lock up perpetrators of child abuse and domestic violence. Rapists would be drawn and quartered.
Their movement is rooted in abject misogyny and a fervent desire to exercise power and control over other women’s health care choices. I stridently believe that the right to life starts at birth. This is when a new person arrives in the world in need of food, shelter, nurturing, and guidance. If we aren’t prepared to deliver the necessary elements of parenting, we need to sober up and deal with reality.
I am convinced that a significant percentage of kids in foster care, abused kids, kids with mental health issues, kids on welfare, etc. were unwanted ~ burdens their parents didn’t have the guts to say they didn’t want to accept or carry.
Parenting is a huge responsibility, and some people just aren’t ready, willing, or able to do it. We need to accept this. “Life” for an unwanted child is a series of spiritual deaths unless some miracle happens and a loving person steps up to fill the parenting void. If you aren’t ready to personally assume this responsibility for an unwanted child, shut the hell up and stop claiming you are “pro-life” because you aren’t.
You say, “Life” for an unwanted child is a series of spiritual deaths. And too often ends up with physical death or imprisonment.
Tears in my eyes. You nailed it. Thank you.
Sending hugs and best wishes,