Practicing What I Preach, Part 2


Squirrel2008a

Does this little guy look like a criminal?  He’s about to get me evicted!  Serious!

My landlord “dropped the charges” that my flowers constitute a capital crime (lease violation).  So, we’re just left with this crafty co-conspirator and peanut shell “evidence” of our remaining alleged capital crime.

This is an old photo from the days when I was under the delusion that I could comply with my manager’s ridiculous ban of bird and squirrel feeders by using a huge plant saucer to contain the debris.  (Squirrels are cute, but they have the table manners of a wee toddler.)

I live in the Seattle area, folks.  It’s wet.  My brilliant idea quickly turned into a soggy mess.  Yuck!

So, the saucer was history.  I realized there’s a reason peanuts have shells!

My desk faces my patio.  The squirrels and stellar jays make me laugh and bring me joy and help minimize the devastating impact of my PTSD episodes.  They remind me of the innocence in the world.

At first, I dismissed the notice left on my door.  Our apartment manager periodically cycles through episodes of abuse.  I naively thought this too would pass.  But, it didn’t.  She’s a bully with power.

I also naively thought I could deal with her on my own.  I asserted my rights under the law.  I tried to fly under her radar by avoiding the office and cabana.  I communicated in writing because it was a shield from verbal abuse, and it created a paper trail.  But, it was my turn to be her target.  She dropped the bomb in an envelope posted on my door.  A horrendous PTSD episode hit me like a tsunami.

After the doctor told me the stress of trying to deal with her abuse on my own was going to kill me, I started assembling my “posse.”  This is a new idea adopted from Oprah’s show on bullies.

A “protection circle” of friends and family can take us only so far.  If we’re smart, we’ll know when it is time to bring in  a “posse” of professional people who are trained to deal with bullies, abusive people, and gang members.

A police report is on file.  I’ve spoken to elected representatives about possible changes in the law.  And, I’ve assembled a team of professionals who have expertise in dealing with disabled people.

Yes, I spent a zillion hours on the phone, waiting for face-to-face meetings, and sending letters and e-mails.  It was inordinately time-consuming.  But, I have learned that when I have a horrendous PTSD episode that my recovery process is accelerated if I get busy protecting myself.

I heard “it’s not my job” so many times that I wanted to scream, but I kept plugging.  Today, I finally found myself an angel who knows all the players within the system.  My safety plan is now in place.  I became instantly calm.  Maybe tonight I’ll sleep.

Since I was exhausted beyond words, I sat down to watch some zombie television.  Oprah was on.  She and my guy Tyler Perry are promoting Precious, a movie about child abuse, based on the novel Push by Sapphire.  Mo’Nique plays the abusive mother, and the film won awards at Sundance.

Tomorrow’s Oprah show appears to be about women who defended themselves from domestic abuse and ended up in prison.

Tomorrow’s also the three month anniversary of this web site going live.

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One response to “Practicing What I Preach, Part 2

  1. Pingback: Toddler craft and art ideas·

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