by Robert Chancey


Stop popping mints

And Viagra

Do not call me


Or honey

You have pestered me

For too long

Your need

For affection

Is transparent

And you are

A married man


You do not know

The difference

Between love

And Stockholm Syndrome

Leave me

At the wine bar

With my half bottle

Of Shafer Merlot

My poetry

And my memories

Of better men


Go sit

With your boorish cronies

In the leather booth

Regale them

With your stale jokes

And dazzle them

With your hair weave

Your fake charisma

And your tall tales

Of conquest

And satisfaction


Bring no more

Of your sycophants

To convince me

What a swell guy

You are

Your closeted cousin

Who resembles

The pilot

My father now lives with

Your drunken frat brother

Whose resume

Stinks of nepotism

And rape

Your uncle

Who would violate

My younger sister

On prom night

Your Aunt Lydia

Who stands

At the altar

And judges everyone

For your sins

Your Aspergers nephew

Who pleasures himself

To Ayn Rand novels

And your business partners

Who would swindle

Diabetic seniors

Out of their insulin


These are not

Character witnesses

They are co-conspirators

In a vast plundering

Of the common good

I do not know

Any judges

Who will sentence

The whole wretched lot

Of you

But I am connected

To a loose network

Of sane people

Who are voting

On November 6


We will say


To your fast food morals

Your carbon fuel flatulence

Your trophy wife

Your casual racism

Your bullying

Your desire

To screw

All women under 30

And all men

Who work stoop-shouldered

And without health care

To ensure

The rich

Stay fat

And happy

In a godless land

Of drunken believers

Robert Chancey

Robert Chancey is a full-time waiter who writes poetry in his off hours.  His Facebook page Words on Fire features over 200 of his brilliant and very popular poems from 2017 and 2018.  You can also watch over two dozen videos of his poetry readings on his Words on Fire Facebook page.

Robert Chancey wearing his paisley tie for “Eat the Rich”

His most popular poem is “Eat the Rich” which is a fictional imagining of a waiter in a restaurant reciting the specials to Sarah Huckabee Sanders.  “Eat The Rich” was posted on June 24, 2018, and it has been read by 125,000 people!!!  It is a fabulous menu of the rich contributions hard-working and talented immigrants make to America.

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