This is my 548th post, and it will likely be my last. I will never find a survivor story as powerful as Pat Conroy’s The Death of Santini. He captured the survivor experience powerfully, poetically, and brilliantly. He helped me appreciate that there isn’t likely to be a golden rainbow at the end of our arduous paths. I didn’t want to hear that message, but I think it was time for me to accept that the best most of us will do is soldier on.
My health has been in grave jeopardy since June 1 due to rampant Medicaid and HUD fraud by Compass Health. I have done my very best to get someone within government to hold them accountable, but it is quite clear to me that corruption is tolerated. I knew this when I was with the judge. Hell, I knew this when I practiced law in Chicago. It’s why I quit.
With Suzan DelBene in 2012
I had hoped when I worked on Rep. Suzan DelBene’s campaign last year that she could and would make a difference. She was highly effective at getting the VAWA reauthorized, but her district staff is long on rhetoric and short results. It’s ironic that I got an e-mail message from her bragging about her ability to deliver just yesterday.
I was hospitalized on Friday because my blood pressure was in the stroke range. I can’t keep fighting with bureaucrats who don’t give a damn whether I live or die. I can’t handle realizing that they don’t give a shit.
Update: Rep. Suzan DelBene kicked butt, and my Medicaid complaint is on its way to the Attorney General’s office. Thank God. At long last. Thank you, Suzan. Bless you.
Rep. Suzan DelBene and me in July, 2013
I don’t know why I went to law school. I hate fighting with people. And, I’m damned sick of fighting to survive.
So, dear ones, I’m pulling the plug. I will keep this site live because it has been helpful to over 450,000 from every country on the planet. But, I can’t do this anymore.
I need to invest my energies in enjoying life. I thought that when I became eligible for Medicare on November 1 that this would lead to a solution. But, I have discovered that it merely opens the door to more nightmares. Quite frankly, I don’t think anyone should bitch about ObamaCares because it works a hell of a lot more effectively than Medicare. I was theoretically insured on November 1, but a series of perpetual screw-ups by Humana means that I’m unable to access my prescriptions, see my PCP, or get my beloved C-Pap machine back.
I wish all of you well. You have made my heart sing with your support and encouragement. May God bless you all abundantly.
Anne Caroline Drake 
It is sad to see you go, I wish you all the best. ❤❤
I wish you the best too, Ms. Carolyn! I wish you would consider writing a blog about how you are enjoying life, or some other subject. You are such an inspirational writer! You are a kind, honest and integrous person. I hope you will consider creating a different blog. No matter what, I wish you well on your life’s journey.
Bureaucrats depress me. Literally. And, most of them do not care about the people who must stand before them begging for justice, or asking for the laws to be upheld (I’m not talking about court, but it sounds like it doesn’t it?).
Live Well Carolyn! You are an amazing woman!
Your blogging friend,
Michelle.
PS I’m sorry I spelled your name wrong, but the comment box would not let me move up to fix that.
Virtual hugs to you,
Michelle.
Carolyn, thank you for your wonderful work. You have done the world a great service with your honest and cogent blogging and it means so much to survivors like me. I will miss your posts but you deserve a break and it is time to focus on FUN and JOY. Please post occasionally if you feel up to it, but take care of yourself, first and foremost!
I hope this is a good thing and that you’re giving up the blog in order to take better care of yourself. Let us hear from you once in a while!
Bless you and thank you all for these kind comments. Tears in my eyes. Actually, Michelle, you spelled my name correctly. Anne Caroline Drake is my paternal grandmother’s name and my pen name.
I’ve been debating retirement for a long time, and last night it was clear that it is time to turn the activism over to younger people with more energy.
My first fun thing to do will be to set up my Christmas houses for the first time in years. Julie and I share a birthday ~ I’ll be 65 this year. I promised her a church, and I’m looking forward to sending it to her.
If the display ends up looking terrific, I’ll post photos.
Meanwhile, if any of y’all want to write a post, I’ll be happy to publish it.
Carolyn- I have really been enlightened, as well as entertained by your blog. Sorry to hear about your health problems. I hope you think about putting all your writings into a book (e-book). I am sure others have suggested this, too. Take care- Shalom–Helen
Thank you Anne for all your great work. You may be closing a chapter in your life, but you will be remembered. You inspired me with your wonderfully feisty and contemplative posts. I very much appreciate you. I came across you during the darkest period in my life, and you gave me the realization that I wasn’t wrong and I wasn’t alone. You have done a great piece of work with your blog, and you should be very proud of the worthy life you are leading. May many blessings fall upon you now and forever…
Anne,
Thank you for your wonderful work and being a supporter of our blog over the years. I cried when I read your post. Not just for you, but I know a lot of people in similar circumstances. The callousness our politicians, indeed, much of our society really saddens me.
I think you should drop all of us who love you a line once in a while. You’re important to us. You matter.
With love and gratitude,
Peter
OMG. I’m squirting tears. Your kind words and thoughts warm my soul and humble me. Bless you. Thank you.
Someone suggested today that I consider taking my blog in another direction, and I’m considering it seriously. Maybe it is time for all of us to have some fun. . .celebrate the fact that we survived.
Actually, Helen, the reason I started this blog almost five years ago was to test whether there is sufficient interest to publish a book. My dream is to publish a beautiful book of survivor stories. I’d love to launch the book with a huge breaking down of the walls of silence ~ a literal and figurative blasting away of the shame and blame ~ replacing it with a celebration of survivors.
I’ve hoped for a long time that my visitors would publish their own work on this blog. Would y’all be interested?
Sending hugs and best wishes,
Anne Caroline
Dear Caroline,
Your blog has helped so many by providing a just and righteous perspective and vital information, all of which I am sure saved lives. Thank you for all you have done to make this site so resources and for your conviction and desire to see justice achieved. You know what you need better than any one else, and I truly hope you get the “you” time and the nurturing you need. I have referred over 100 people to your site over the last year and I am so glad that you are choosing to leave it up. The stories, commentary and ideas are as timely today as they were from the site’s inception. Thank you again, Namaste, Rita Anita
God Bless You, we are experiencing a congress that does not represent the people, but represents the big money that put them in office. It is time for change and we need leaders who care about the people. The main cure for high blood pressure is to drink water, half your body weight, most people with high blood pressure are dehydrated… best of luck and thanks for the blog.
How cool is this!!!
Sent from my iPhone
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