Victim or Victorious?


Path to Victory

Path to Victory

Never whine.
Whining lets a brute know that a victim is in the neighborhood.
Maya Angelou,
Letter to My Daughter

My frequent, eagle-eyed visitors might have noticed that a post and a comment were deleted from this blog.  I must apologize to you, dear readers, for breaking a steadfast promise I made to myself.

It will not happen again because I realize now that I must be abundantly clear about the mission and purpose of this web site.

I am not nor will I ever be an advocate who works one-to-one with people who have experienced domestic violence or abuse.

Instead, I have chosen to leverage my core competencies where they can make the most difference.  I have a talent for digesting extraordinarily complex issues and distilling them down so that they can be easily understood by anyone.  I have the patience, focus, and determination to wade through enormous amounts of research to ferret out what works and doesn’t work.  And, I was a pioneer in the fine art of benchmarking best practices.

My aim is to inspire people to leverage their own talents to help fix a system we all know is ineffective.  My hope is that you will join me in my belief that there is a very subtle difference between “impossible” and “I’m possible.”

Last week the combination of the funeral of a very beloved uncle, Oprah’s show about Rihanna, and the news that my car needs repairs far exceeding its value converged in a matter of a few short hours.  I felt profoundly overwhelmed and exhausted.  Yet, I was being called upon to trudge through very painful personal memories to opine on Oprah’s show.  At the same time, I was asked to lend the benefit of my survival skills to a woman who is clearly in significant danger.

In retrospect, it is abundantly obvious to me that I should have written my post and gone on retreat.

I burned myself out working 24/7 trying to help someone more intent on being a victim than being victorious.  I know that I allowed myself to be sucked into her “poor me” control drama because I was too exhausted and overwhelmed to make a wise choice.  Quite simply, I failed to listen to my own advice.  It is humbling.

In the meantime, over 280 people visited this web site.  Based on the links that were clicked and the pages that were visited, I know that quite a few of those 280 visitors were as distressed as the one woman who got all my attention.  While those 280 people lost the benefit of what I should have been posting last week, I am confident they will emerge victorious because they have made the commitment and the investment to educate and help themselves.

I made a whopper of a mistake by allowing myself to be distracted for an entire week, but I learned a valuable lesson.  It will not happen again.

This web site is for people who are on the path to victory.  Victory is a choice.  Victory is an attitude.

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One response to “Victim or Victorious?

  1. The Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF)has stepped up to the plate to help the woman in significant danger on the East Coast. This an extraordinarily generous act because the FVPF does not do one-to-one advocacy work.

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