Christie Brinkley: Divorcing a Narcissist & Litigation Abuse
I grew up thinking Christie Brinkley lived a fairy tale life. She was Billy Joel’s uptown girl and news anchor David Brinkley’s step-daughter.
Yet, even cover girls can experience litigation abuse when they divorce a narcissist. To the outside world, their ten-year marriage appeared to be perfect. But, behind closed doors, Ms. Brinkley’s ex-husband Peter Cook admitted he was “an idiot.” Like David Letterman, he sexually harassed his 18-year-old personal assistant Diana Bianchi. To avoid a lawsuit and to keep her quiet, he paid her $300,000. She testified at their divorce trial.
During the trial, it was revealed that Cook abused the children “about a dozen times” and spent $3,000/month to support his addiction to Internet porn. Cook appeared on Barbara Walter’s 20/20 last October to clear his name:
My hope is that the world see that I’m not the scumbag pervert that I’ve been painted to be.
Court-appointed psychiatrist, Dr. Stephen Herman, testified that Cook is “an insatiable narcissist.”
Yesterday, Cook said “I’ll accept ‘narcissit’ over [custodial] ’interference.’” Sorry, Peter, they are one and the same. Custodial interference/parental alienation is one of the favorite litigation abuse weapons of narcissistic pit bulls. Ms. Brinkley has been subjected to litigation abuse for 3 1/2 years. Most of Cook’s $2.1 million settlement from Ms. Brinkley went to his lawyers for their fees. Yesterday, she suggested people visit DivorcingANarcissist.com. The therapists who maintain the site also have a blog.
On her Facebook page today, Ms. Brinkley posted an excellent article by Emma: “Narcissism and Divorce.” If you are currently engaged in litigation abuse with a narcissistic pit bull, I strongly urge you to print out the article and read it every week because “the courts are usually no match for a narcissist”:
When divorcing a narcissist, you are in for the worst battle of your life. It is important that you have a large support group.
. . .restraining orders. . .document every confrontation. . .protect yourself. . .time-out in order to regroup. The hardest thing to do is not give up.
. . .they will cause you to doubt all your decisions. . .putting your future at risk.
Amen.
Cook alleged that Ms. Brinkley had engaged in custodial interference and asked Riverhead, New York State Supreme Court Judge Mark Cohen to hold Ms. Brinkley in contempt of court. Cook attempted to assert control over Ms. Brinkley by asking the judge to appoint a parenting coordinator, demand Ms. Brinkley enroll in anger management classes, and cover his legal expenses. The judge didn’t buy it, and both frivolous motions were dropped.
In violation of their divorce settlement’s confidentiality agreement, Cook engaged in a media campaign to smear Ms. Brinkley’s reputation. Emma explained the dynamic:
They cannot tolerate any shows of strength or determination. They thrive on seeing your fear. They may even threaten you, without coming out directly and saying what they will do. It may be physical, financial, or involve the custody of the children. The promise of harm can be enough to wear you down. . .making you look like a nut case.
Cook, for example, perceived it to be parental interference when Ms. Brinkley objected when he took their children (Jack, age 14; Sailor, age 10) sailing with his new girlfriend. Sorry, Peter, judges don’t think it is in “the best interest of the children” for them to witness cohabitation. As the custodial parent, Ms. Brinkley has a duty to her children to protect them. As Emma wisely observes:
Even if he is in a relationship with someone else, they will continually return to you to continually harass long after the divorce is over, in order to get their “fix.” The reason for this is because it is easier to go back to the original source of pleasure than it is to train the new victim. The longer they can do this, the safer their new significant other will be.
Gather Your Strengths
This morning, Ms. Brinkley posted a quote by Prem Rawat which hangs on her wall on her Facebook page:
Thanks for reading my post at jwiblog and my blog. A problem that I see with divorcing a narcissist is that too many lawyers and judges are narcissists themselves, which makes them natural allies to the bullies in the house.
Thanks for visiting, Laura. Your post on jwiblog is certainly sparking interest and comment. Bravo!
Because this web site is largely my response to a certain high-ranking narcissistic pit bull judge, your comment had me howling with belly laughter. It was so good to hear somebody else say what’s on my mind. My own point of view is that a narcissistic abusive judge is incapable of recognizing abusive behavior. When he/she looks at the perpetrator, they see themselves and can’t comprehend what all the fuss is about.
The same is true if an alcoholic judge hears drunk driving cases. What most folks would recognize as alcoholism the judge will see a party-hearty social drinker.
When you toss in power and control issues and the fact that too many divorce attorneys are also narcissistic, it doesn’t make for a good situation.
And all of that leads to the least wonderful of phrases: “why don’t you just leave?” or “you just don’t know how to handle him.” I haven’t made it to court, we managed out of court and he kept delaying everything court related and to top it off the court kept messing everything up. But my first divorce lawyer made certain that I understood that it’s a crapshoot when you go to court. What a sad, sad system we have.
Your attorney gave you good advice, Laura. I’ve practiced law from both sides of the bench, lived with a judge, and had a judge for a brother-in-law. While there are many good judges, too many choose this career route because substance abuse problems make it difficult for them to make money practicing law. If a litigant gets a judge who is 1) paying attention, 2) isn’t on the take, 3) comes to court prepared, and 4) makes an unbiased judgement, the person is VERY lucky.
Twice someone from the judge’s state has asked me what to do about judicial corruption in his state. Quite frankly, there isn’t much recourse when a member of the state’s highest court abuses the women (not just me) in his life in front of his peers. And, his peers don’t blink an eye.
My most popular post is about why women don’t just leave. IMHO, it is very telling when someone suggests to us that manipulation is a great relationship strategy. How can anybody have a healthy, loving relationship without trust and respect?
BTW, if/when your book is published, please let me know. I’ll write a review.